gifts
i stumbled upon this topic in a earlier post, and thought it warranted further discussion: is running a gift to the myself of today, from the myself of the past?
sparing details, these days i have found myself in need of support and healthy surroundings more than i have ever needed in the past, save when i was too young to support my own life. i started running when i was 14 years old. throughout those first years, i did well in high school--one would say that i was a good student and had a future in front of me. and i was a pretty level-headed kid: i thought about college, i thought about what tomorrow could bring me, or rather, what i could bring to myself tomorrow.
maybe somewhere along that line, i conciously or subconciously saw running as something that had the potential of being a companion in times of joy, and a shoulder in times of sorrow. it had value. it had the potential of longevity. not every hotel had a swimming pool or a tennis court, but every hotel had a front door. and besides, it was fun.
i remember going through tumultuous times in high school, and there were times where running seemed to be the only enjoyable activity of my life. i encouraged myself to stick with it, to not let go of it, for it would help me get through the rough spots so that you could get your life back on track. i did, and it did.
and maybe after that experience in my youth, my younger self took notes from that period of time and reasoned: "you have the majority of your of life ahead of you. albeit you have picked yourself off of the ground quite nicely and the skies are once again blue, the odds are very much in the favor of another period of sadness, loss, or grief occurring at least once in the next 80 years. heaven knows that feeling good at mile 3 has almost completely no bearing on how well you will feel at mile 23. when the next mile 23 comes, you'll need some help. so take this. use it now, but also keep it for the day unforseen but expected."
that day, unforseen at the time, is currently known as the present day for myself.
i've always believed in not completely dismissing the "wisdom" of my youth--maybe this is just one manifestation of that potential fact.
funny how such a self-punishing pursuit such as long-distance running, when put in the proper context, can begin to look like self-love.
sparing details, these days i have found myself in need of support and healthy surroundings more than i have ever needed in the past, save when i was too young to support my own life. i started running when i was 14 years old. throughout those first years, i did well in high school--one would say that i was a good student and had a future in front of me. and i was a pretty level-headed kid: i thought about college, i thought about what tomorrow could bring me, or rather, what i could bring to myself tomorrow.
maybe somewhere along that line, i conciously or subconciously saw running as something that had the potential of being a companion in times of joy, and a shoulder in times of sorrow. it had value. it had the potential of longevity. not every hotel had a swimming pool or a tennis court, but every hotel had a front door. and besides, it was fun.
i remember going through tumultuous times in high school, and there were times where running seemed to be the only enjoyable activity of my life. i encouraged myself to stick with it, to not let go of it, for it would help me get through the rough spots so that you could get your life back on track. i did, and it did.
and maybe after that experience in my youth, my younger self took notes from that period of time and reasoned: "you have the majority of your of life ahead of you. albeit you have picked yourself off of the ground quite nicely and the skies are once again blue, the odds are very much in the favor of another period of sadness, loss, or grief occurring at least once in the next 80 years. heaven knows that feeling good at mile 3 has almost completely no bearing on how well you will feel at mile 23. when the next mile 23 comes, you'll need some help. so take this. use it now, but also keep it for the day unforseen but expected."
that day, unforseen at the time, is currently known as the present day for myself.
i've always believed in not completely dismissing the "wisdom" of my youth--maybe this is just one manifestation of that potential fact.
funny how such a self-punishing pursuit such as long-distance running, when put in the proper context, can begin to look like self-love.
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